Smelly Monday...

I have to rant which is know is very unusual for me, quite unheard of actually! This rant it is going to be somewhat of a smelly one……so to speak.

Lunchtime in the office has occurred in the office which has forced me to write a post on smelly food…. The office smells like DEATH – no embellishment on the whiff that is currently circulating around this room.

I am not fortunate enough to be able to work from home, lazing around in ketchup spilt jogging bottoms and toothpaste stained t-shirt in the luxury of one’s humble abode… NO! I work in an office (albeit not a public facing office, but it is an office which often frequents persons, of some may say, “High Status” so having the office smell like a herd of cows have released their toxic methane gases then bolting out the door, is NOT a good thing at all. I work in an office, with other people, who also have a NOSE and therefore a SENSE of smell.
I am not a fisherman, nor am I an undertaker… I am sure that in my job description there wasn’t a section saying “One will be subjected to the stench of death on a daily basis through what people eat in the office at lunchtime”

You know, this is actually true that some companies actually BAN certain types of food that release the stench of vileness.

I am writing this because some colleagues have taken it upon themselves to bring in the smelliest food you can buy at the local supermarket…my nose is offended and for once it is not me just complaining, others are also disgusted but are too polite to speak so they resort to the classic “cover your nose” technique”. Yes, of course that works!!
Someone has warmed up FISH and BROCCOLI in the microwave in the kitchen next door, which through the power of diffusion the odours will in evidently under up under my nostril.
If you wished to be liked in the office steer clear of certain foods like the deceased corpse-scented durian, re-heated popcorn and shrimp paste

Surely people must olfactory common sense that would make you avoid those foods out of graciousness and civility to others?? You would think so, but no.

Do not think I dislike fish, I am somewhat quite partial to a little bit of sea bass, trout, salmon – in fact, any fish! I love it. What I do not love is the stench that it leaves (in an office with NO ventilation because as soon as I open a window, people complain that they are dying of hypothermia!) The stench is akin to the same smell of a boat of fisherman, after a gruesome haul that have been stranded out at sea for 6months in the Indian Ocean causing the fish to decompose in the sun as they have run out of fuel – that kind of smell!

It gets worse, they have added cabbage, cauliflower and broccoli to this……. *heaves*……..Is there anything stinkier that reheated vegetables? It literally smells like whole office (present company excluded, of course) have eaten 15 eggs each and 5 tins of baked beans…. Flatulence City here!

If you value your job and your life, please refrain from bringing in ANY smelly food into the office.

Readers: What’s your worst offending food item to bring into the office?